@BH-kw8rh
This is also a good way to find out if the person is capable of respecting boundaries 💜
@BreCheese000
Im listening to a book called "a highly sensitive persons guide to toxic people" and the author suggests just that! You got this!
@ninanano2777
My autism part hates dating as it's all so unclear at which stage you are with a person and it's all so unclear and no fun. It stresses me out so much. I know how to act around a friend, a partner, and a stranger. But what I is a date? I don't get the rules. I'd jump into relationship because I can't handle the not knowing phase.
@jonathanhalls6718
Makes a ton of sense to me. I could see it being difficult to implement, but likely worth it.
@Jessicajsaylor
Just got out of an over 15 year toxic relationship I just turned 40 and am using this idea! ❤
@SelinaSage
Fun fact for me! I started talking to my current SO right before the start of the pandemic. We matched off a dating app, exchanged numbers, and planned to meet at a coffee shop that weekend. He ended up canceling due to family stuff, but we planned the following weekend. That's when everything shut down Well, for the next 3 or 4 months, we ended up talking every day through text/phone calls and really got to know each other during this time. After or 4 months we decided to finally meet at a park. The physical spark was immediately there, but also a developing deep emotional connection. We also both have ADHD to boot, which makes things interesting. We celebrated our 4 year anniversary last month and have been living together for a year. I think waiting that few months made all the difference So yes, as someone with adhd and a knack for falling into toxic (abusive in my case) relationships, I highly recommend waiting 3 months, or at least a good amount of time before becoming intimate If a deeper connection is what you're looking for that is
@JennyNobody
I also had the same cycle. I courted my husband for a month before we even went on a date. Its been 12 years now xD I was also super aware of what I would and would not compromise on as far as my morals/way of life and was open with him about that - so I think another key could be "know thyself"
@teganmachuret6335
So at 40 and having just received my adhd diagnosis I really relate to this! My dating history has been so toxic! It culminated in my marriage to a very charming narcissist! We are the perfect prey for love bombing!! The dopamine rush was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. After 8 years out of that relationship I have found strategies such as what you’re describing here Hayley! But it’s so incredibly difficult to trust myself and my choices, and hope that I’m seeing clearly rather than through my dopamine tinged glasses! I guess lots of space to breathe and reflect, body check-ins and talking with a trusted friend 🙌🏼 eeek! Taking that dive back into the dating pool!
@AuDHD_Mom
This is like what Rox described in her Dirty Laundry book, how she got to the point in her life where she wanted to stay celebate for as long as possible in her relationships so it wasn't a factor as to why she's staying with someone. I highly recommend you date men who are on the spectrum to help even out your impulsiveness. My ADHD husband thrived with my help to counter his impulsivity, though I have terrible Inattentive ADHD he helps me with. And he helps me with my total lack of social awareness.
@katzenbekloppt_mf
You are very young, I can tell it got so much easier the older I got, honey😊 We all have to learn and with the impulsivity of ADHD it is unfortunatly harder. But not impossible. I swear✌🏽
@corylcreates
Modern dating culture is so overwhelming to me, and this is partly it. There's such a pressure for quick physical intimacy and it's justified as a way to find out compatibility... But people are more than their bodies and long-term relationships should be more than just physical connection! I think it's a good rule/guideline, especially as it should help to weed out people who just want casual or quick physical intimacy. It refocuses dates on getting to know each other as whole people with personalities and interests.
@Potato...BeaR.
Me and my husband have been doing this the past few months (im pregnant but i dont like veing touched rn) it has helped us understand eachother so much
@FitRebelRah
Yes. I'm just thinking about how to stop that. You gave a good reason as to why I do that. ❤😊
@Nym-p9r
I like how this person is making me feel right now and I am excited to learn more about them - the message I have to built in time to remind myself often when I start dating someone
@STAR-LIGHT.1111
Wauw same. I was the one that fell 4 times for narcissistic men😵
@alexelion7084
I have ADHD and have never been in a relationship before, but I thrive on building emotional connections with people. I hope I get to extend this to (romantic) relationships soon
@DrTundePala1
100% agree!!! I've been into the same dopamine chasing fase many times! 😢 So now I do 3 months too❤ We'll see! Would be great to see your updates on this!
@justinamoniz
I've been really lucky to be in situations where I've been friends with all my partners for at least a couple months before dating. I don't think I could have followed a three month rule while dating, but it definitely has helped me to get to know people first.
@thatspottedcat
I'd like to implement that rule if I'm ever single again, but I'm always absolutely blinded by my "well yeah but... I can trust this one though" gene and it's the actual worst thing that my AuDHD has ever gifted me
@nora3071